Many years ago, I noticed that, in a corner of my mind, I was collecting remnants of relationship disappointments, disagreements and hurt. No matter how long ago these occurred, whether last week, last year or even last century, I kept stockpiling them. At moments of my mind’s choosing, I could just reach for one or two of these memories (not usually voluntarily) and get agitated about the whole thing all over again. There was nothing useful about this. I made two decisions: 1. to tidy up this cache of undigested memories and 2. to aim to either speak up or let go (or both) when hurtful or challenging relationship situations arise. A bit harder in the short term but the long-term pay off of greater inner peace, of clarity, and freedom to be in the present moment, is so worth the effort. It has been a lot of inner work, often been bumpy and not always successful but when I rummage through my mind now and touch in on the storehouse of resentments, there is little there. Phew! Sometime soon, I’ll share a mediation that might be helpful in this process.
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